The tug you just can’t ignore anymore
At my last corporate job, I was using my big ol' heart and design & marketing chops to grow a company that had a racist, sexist CEO, who also demanded copying product designs off of other more innovative corporations.
As an empath, it was no wonder I felt sick every day!
Now why on earth would a highly-creative and super-sensitive person do this?
Why would ANYONE do this?
This was my worst nightmare, but for some strange reason, I did it for steady income.
Because I was taught from a young age to "go to school and get a degree, then get a JOB..."
Ya know, for the money.
I had two jobs at the age of 16. TWO!
And somehow played basketball full-time and had a 4.0 from the age of 10-18.
And for nearly two decades of my life, I continued to check all the boxes society expected of me, working my way up corporate ladders.
Money ✅
Top of my ladder ✅
“Success” ✅
But did I feel successful?
If successful meant anxiety-ridden, crying on your way to work everyday, but getting a paycheck – A LOT of which was spent on shopping and drinking to ease the pain…
Then, sure. I guess I was “successful.”
Even though I had been feeling the tug to do my own thing for the past few years, I believed the LIE that money would make me happy.
I left my job in 2018 after a couple years of my own hell, and I have to tell you, what happened next was even crazier.
After working for other people and using my creativity to grow giant corporations, I felt GUILTY for quitting!
Like my whole sense of self-worth was challenged.
Uprooted. I went into a bit of a depression.
And it took me several months to see WHY this was happening.
THESE were deeply ingrained subconscious beliefs that emerged to the surface.
Work should be HARD
Not the breadwinner? I’m a LOSER
Having free time is WRONG
Making $ should be HARD
Listening to my GUT = MISTAKE
These beliefs and the guilt was so strong and so deeply ingrained, there were several times when I considered getting another job, just to FEEL comfy.
To feed my frantic control-freak side.
Meanwhile, the tug to do my own thing was still there, quietly just pulling me along.
At some point, I just had to be brave enough to let go and see where it would take me.
In retrospect, I realize this was all part of the entrepreneurial journey.
And I’ve since then, I’ve read about other people just like me, who described that very first part of the journey like leaving shore, kicking and screaming.
Because the tug feels like you’re getting pulled in a direction that you can’t see or understand.
You have no idea where it's going, so you pitch a fit, try to jump ship, and swim upstream so you can get back to your old life – which feels safe.
You also think you are the only person this is happening too! Which isn’t true.
After reading other people’s stories and meeting other people on the journey, you’re not the only crazy person that feels this way. (THANK GOD!)
There’re people like you that show up – not as your competitors – but as fellow adventurers that inspire and motivate you along the journey.
After all, you each have this crazy desire to DO THIS THING and live life on your own terms. (ALSO which I wish I would have known just starting out.)
But what I've learned, my friend, is: THERE IS NO GOING BACK.
Once you get the tug, you're on the journey.
You're getting pulled and the BEST thing you can do is let go and let it take you.
And for some of you, you've already done this once, and that was scary enough!
And now things are feeling good, comfy, secure, and you're getting the tug again.
You may think:
WTF?! I thought this BS was over.
But once again, you know you can't ignore the tug. You won’t.
You have to be brave enough to let go, once again, and see where you're going next.
I wish I would have known this and SO many other things starting out.
This is why I'm starting the Imperfect Entrepreneur Club FB group, so we can all share wisdom from the journey, for people who feel the tug.
A place where we show up fully and imperfectly.
Where we can take down the mask and are just seen and heard because we’re all on this journey and it’s nice to have friendly people like you, to cheer you on along the way.
PS: You wouldn't be getting the tug (your life force) if it wasn't important, or meant for you.
Join us in our community of huge-hearted, real humans having real conversations in the Imperfect Entrepreneur Club FB group here.